| J.R. Miller D.D. | Page 7 |
Paul lays down the basis for happy wedded life in the words – “Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”. Perhaps these instructions are not always well understood. Sometimes one of the counsels, and sometimes the other, is unduly emphasized. Some men insist upon the first – “Wives, be in subjection to your husbands.” They interpret the words somewhat harshly, as if a wife were to be only as a child to her husband, or even as a servant, whose duty is to minister to his desires, to please him, to run at his every call and command. This is in accordance with heathen notions of the marriage relation, but it is not after Christian teaching.
It is to be particularly noted that Paul nowhere says – “Wives, obey your husbands.” In our Common Version the word “obedient” occurs in one place; but in the Revised Version the counsel is that wives should be “in subjection to” their husbands. Indeed, however, the spirit of love is always that of subjection, of yielding, or serving, in all life’s relations.
In another place, where Paul gives like instruction, his words are – “Wives be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the Church”. No doubt the husband is the head of the household; but what a responsibility this teaching puts upon him! His wife is to be in subjection to him, “as unto the Lord.” He is to be to her what Christ is to the Church.
If a man will insist on his wife fulfilling her part, he must also insist on honestly fulfilling his own part, – all the sacred duties which are his as a husband. What, then, is the husband’s share in this happy home making? “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself up for it”. A husband is to love his wife. Is love despotic? Does love put its object in a servant’s place? No; love serves. It seeks not its own. It desires “not to be served, but to serve.” It does not demand attention, deference, service, subjection. It seeks rather to serve, to give, to honor.
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